a.c. bhaktivedanta swami
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| Prabhupada Letters :: 1972 a.c. bhaktivedanta swami |
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17 December 2007 17 December, 1972 Bombay My dear Danavir, Please accept my blessings. I beg to acknowledge receipt of your letter dated November 27, 1972. I note that you are requesting to take the sannyasa order of life. But if you have got wife, that will be difficult. If someone devotee has got wife, that will not become a very popular policy to grant so easily sannyasa. And if your wife wants many children, that is the only purpose for getting married to wife, to have facility for sex-life, otherwise what is the use for taking so much botheration of married life? So now you are married man, that decision you have made. That is great responsibility, and that should not become so light matter that anyone may think, Oh, let me get married and if I don't like my wife, or there is anything difficulty, I will write Prabhupada for taking sannyasa, finished. Never mind wife, let her go to hell. That is not very nice proposal. Married life is serious business. If you have taken wife, you must be completely responsible for her throughout your life. She shall always serve and obey you without fail, and you shall instruct her in Krishna Consciousness and act as her spiritual master. Otherwise, without husband, women have great difficulty to make spiritual advancement. So if we have to develop a perfect society of scientific arrangement for making spiritual progress, then so many women will be there, so what shall they do? They have also come to Krishna, we cannot reject them. Therefore I have advised my students to get themselves married. I was householder, my Guru Maharaja was life-long brahmacari. But we are doing the same work of preaching Krishna Consciousness, so what is the difference, grhastha and brahmacari? Actual sannyasa means that he has given everything to Krishna, so practically you are already sannyasa. But if you have got wife, and if she is very desirous to raise children, she will not be very happy if you go away. That is not our business, to create havoc, no. If wife is very strong, she will appreciate if you take sannyasa, but if there is question at all, that should be avoided. Just like I never liked my wife, but I knew it was my duty to stick until my sons were grown-up, then I left. But if you give your wife one child, then she will be happy and she will have some life-long occupation, that you must consider. But at least you can wait until I come there next time, then we shall see further. Hoping this will meet you in good health. Your ever well-wisher, A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami ACBS/sda Labels: ideal community, Los Angeles, marriage, sannyasa, women letters | 17:19 |3 December 2007 3 December, 1972 Bombay My dear Ekayani, Please accept my blessings. I beg to acknowledge receipt of your letter dated November 1, 1972, and I have noted the contents with great concern. I do not know why these things inventions are going on. That is our only business, to invent something new programme? We have already got our Vaisnava standard. That is sufficient for Madhvacarya, Ramanujacarya, it was sufficient for Lord Caitanya, six Gosvamis, for Bhaktivinode Thakura, for my Guru Maharaja Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati, for me, for all big big saints and acaryas in our line - why it shall be inadequate for my disciples so they must manufacture something? That is not possible. Who has introduced these things, that women cannot have chanting japa in the temple, they cannot perform the arati and so many things? If they become agitated, then let the brahmacaris go to the forest, I have never introduced these things. The brahmacaris cannot remain in the presence of women in the temple, then they may go to the forest, not remaining in New York City, because in New York there are so many women, so how they can avoid seeing? Best thing is to go to the forest for not seeing any women, if they become so easily agitated, but then no one will either see them and how our preaching work will go on? They should not simply, husband and wife, live in the room together in the temple, otherwise there is no restriction. How it can be? It is not possible. Hoping this will meet you in good health. Your ever well-wisher, A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami cc: Bali Mardan Goswami ACBS/sda Labels: brahmacaris, Brooklyn, women letters | 12:35 |7 November 2007 Tuesday, 7 November, 1972 Vrindaban [To Mr. Loy] Please accept my blessings. I beg to acknowledge receipt of your letter dated November 7, 1972, and I can very much understand your concern. After all, she is your beloved daughter, and you have sacrificed everything just to bring her to the point of proper education, training, and so many things are there between you. But what can I say? In your country the girls are independent, and from very young age they are accustomed to mix with young boys, so naturally there will be attraction, sex desire and marriage. Actually this whole material world is running on this attraction between man and woman. It is described in Srimad-Bhagavatam that once the boy and girl unite intimately the hard knot is formed, and the girl is thinking "Oh, without him I am lost", and the boy is thinking "Oh, without her I am lost." That is Maya's arrangement for keeping us bound-up tightly in the material atmosphere. If wife is there, then some money must be coming, that means work, land or factory, children, home, friends, community, nation--like that there is increasing complication of illusion of thinking: This is mine, that is mine. But they do not know that one day death will kick them out, mercilessly, and neither home, nor wife, nor children, nothing can prevent that. All along he is thinking these things are like soldiers of security to safeguard his happy life, but they are described as "fallible soldiers" because they will not help us at all. When the moment of death is there, no one may protect us, and if we are not prepared for that moment by practicing Krishna Consciousness or God-consciousness, then we shall be struck with fear and we shall not know where we are going after and what kind of body we may be forced by nature to take. But this kind of householder life of "grihameda" consciousness does not apply to our marriages in Krishna Consciousness Movement. No. Because the sex-urge is so strong in young persons, and because they are used to mixing freely with one another, I encourage my students to get themselves married. But our point is not that hard knot as above described. It is simply a relationship of mutually helping each other, man and wife, to make advancement in spiritual life, nothing more. We are not after home, money, fame, like that. But that does not mean that he shall not support her nicely, no. It is the duty of husband to protect wife in every way from the onslaught of material nature, and he must act always as her spiritual guide by being perfect example of devotee. Women are not so quick to learn, and they are weak by nature, so they should be protected in this way. In our Vedic science of living, it is enjoined that the society should be organized in such a way to protect women, children, old people and cows, because factually all of them are innocent. So children have parents, elderly persons must have grown up children to protect them, and woman must have husband. And it is recommended they should be married at very early age, then the wife will remain always chaste and devoted to her husband. At such young age, from the first night onwards, she can never for a moment forget him, being still child and unspoiled, therefore she becomes the perfect chaste wife, and in those times the wife was so much devoted to her husband that she would voluntarily die in the fire of his cremation, unable to live without him. Myself, I was very young when I got married, and my wife was 11 years only. But there is no question of separation in our marriage belief, neither your daughter will ever be separated from that boy, that is their vow. Rather, it is when people are a little grown-up, when they have got little independence and their own ways of doing things, then if they marry there is often difficulty to adjust, just as it is more difficult to bend the bamboo when it is yellow. So I can assure you that you may have nothing to fear that your daughter has married such a nice boy: bahunam janmanam ante jnanavan mam prapadyante vasudevah sarvam iti sa mahatma sudurlabhah [Bg. 7.19]. Krishna assures us that "After many many births and deaths, he who is actually in knowledge surrenders unto Me, knowing Me to be the cause of all causes and all that is. Such a great soul is very rare." (Bhagavad-gita, VII, 19). In this light, try to view these children. They have realized that life together spent in the pursuit of God is real knowledge, and that they have not done lightly by any means, no actually they must be considered as great souls, the most exalted persons among all persons. Our married couples are rendering the greatest service to humanity, their countrymen, and to their parents, of that kindly be assured by me. Do not worry for anything in this connection, you are a great gentleman, otherwise you could not have fostered such intelligent daughter, and gentlemen are known to be broad-minded, so therefore I appeal to you as their spiritual father to encourage them in every respect. Hoping this meets you in good health. Yours Truly, ACBS Labels: marriage, philosophy, wife, women letters | 05:08 |30 September 2007 30 September, 1972 Los Angeles My dear Sankarasan, Please accept my blessings. I am in due receipt of your letter dated September 28, 1972, and I have noted the contents carefully. Your question is how much or how little brahmacaris should associate with the unmarried brahmacarinis in the temple. As brahmacari you should not mix at all with brahmacarinis. Actually they should not at all see the face, but that is not possible in your country. But so far as possible, remain separate and talk almost nil. Brahmacari is advised not to go near a young woman anywhere. A brahmacari should always address every woman as mother. In your country it is a little difficult, but the principle is to avoid. To talk secretly or privately is strictly prohibited. If you want to discuss philosophy and other matters you can discuss publicly in a meeting, but not privately. A brahmacari and unmarried woman in the same room together alone is strictly forbidden. Hoping this meets you in good health. Your ever well-wisher, A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami ACBS/sda Labels: Boston, brahmacaris, women letters | 06:05 | |
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